Ever noticed that when your partner feels depressed, it rubs off on you? It makes sense that the mood and physical health of the person you spend most of your time with affects you to some extent, but it can have a bigger impact on your wellbeing than you realize.
No one feels happy all the time, and depression can seep in slowly. You may not even notice the growth of your partner's sadness. At first, they may have regular complaints about work or financial worries. Gradually, though, they may stay home frequently, sleep all the time and lose interest in activities. You may even say to yourself, who is this person I once knew so well?
If you are in a relationship with someone who is depressed, you're at risk for mirroring their habits and mindset. In other words, you could become depressed, too. Here's what you can do to care for yourself while taking care of your partner.
The Arthritis/Depression Link - Practice self-compassion. What you're going through is difficult. It's all too easy to think that your partner is the one feeling all the pain, but living with someone with depression can be very taxing and tumultuous. Allow yourself to realize that.
- Talk to your partner. Don't just sit back in silence while your notice your partner slipping away. Pick a time when neither of you are particularly stressed out or upset to sit down together. Tell your partner what you're noticing, whether it's changes in their behavior, patterns or attitude. Make sure to listen to your partner's response. Encourage your partner to seek treatment. But don't push. Sometimes it's better to back off and try again later.
- Join a support group. There are many people living with someone who's depressed. Getting together in a supportive and confidential environment allows you to share your experiences and will help you gather strategies from others. It can help you feel less alone.
- Find a restorative and relaxing hobby. Take a yoga class or practice meditation. A mindful activity can help you distress and face your situation with a calmer attitude.
- Set aside alone time for yourself. It's too easy to get sucked into the trance of handling all aspects of life without a break, and going from one thing to another too fast. Give yourself an hour of alone time per day, if you can, with some "me" time doing what you enjoy, whether it's reading, writing, or exercising.
Emily Jacobson writes about health for ThirdAge.com
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